The Young Marauders
by That G33Ky Girl
Summary: Humorous story about James and Sirius's youth, starting in their sixth year at Hogwarts.
1. Of Drowned Shoes and Sixth Years

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Pretty please?

Chapter 1

Of Drowned Shoes and Sixth Years

"Come on Sirius, give me back my shoe!" James Potter shouted exasperatedly at the shaggy black dog, which was jumping around with James's left sneaker gripped tightly in its teeth. After a few more minutes of taunting James, the dog transformed into James's best friend, Sirius Black, who collapsed on the grass, laughing at James. A few half said sentences got past the laughter. "You…so funny looking…chasing me…lucky Lily's not…here…be dead meat." James, pretending to be angry, turned into a stag, and charged at Sirius. "Hey!" Sirius yelled," I was only joking! You wouldn't kill your best friend now, would you Prongsie?" James's only answer was to turn and charge again. Sirius took off his own shoe and threw it at his friend. James then turned and caught it neatly on one of his antlers. The deer that was James then turned and trotted a few steps away, looked over his shoulder and snorted as if to say, "Now who's chasing who?" "Awww, c'mon Prongs, give me back me shoe. Please? Pretty please? Pretty please with sugar on top? Pretty please with whipped cream and Snivelly's head on top? The regal stag just took a few more steps away. "I know you're trying to be all majestic and stuff, Prongs," Sirius said, "But the shoe on the antler kind of ruins it." James turned back into a person and said, "Fine. I guess that means I get to do THIS," and threw Sirius's shoe into the Potter's pool. "Hey!" Sirius pouted, "Now I only have one shoe." "Mum says we can't get into the pool unless it's an emergency." James said in a bossy tone, sounding remarkably like his mother. "But, Prongs, it is an emergency! Unless I heroically jump in and save it, my shoe will drown, and then its twin will be all alone, "Sirius explained patiently, "Plus, I'll have to buy a new pair."

They looked at each other and nodded. Then, SPLASH! They both dove into the pool. Sirius managed to grab his shoe just as it started to sink.

"JAMES HAROLD POTTER! I thought I told you not to get into the swimming pool!" James's mother, Victoria Potter, shouted at her son. "It's my fault, Mrs. Potter," Sirius explained, "I took James's shoe, so he took mine, and he threw it, and it jut happened to land in the pool, so we had to jump in and save it, or it would've drowned, and its twin, uh, 'Bobby' would have been left all alone." "Well, both of you, get dried off, showered, and packed. You're leaving for Hogwarts tomorrow," Mrs. Potter told them. She had long since learned that there would be no stopping the pair of them if they wanted to do something. James and Sirius looked at each other in surprise. They had both forgotten that they were to be starting their sixth year at Hogwarts in one day's time!


	2. Of the Tickle Torture & Sad Puppy Faces

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Pretty please?

Chapter 2

Of the Tickle Torture & Sad Puppy Faces

"C'mon Sirius, we're gonna miss the train," James's voice said loudly, waking Sirius up. "Five more minutes," Sirius mumbled, still half-asleep. "No-can-do Padfoot," James replied cheerfully. (James was a morning person.) Sirius reluctantly left the warm nest he had made in the middle of his bed, and got dressed. He gaped in astonishment as he saw James attempting to flatten his hair. "Egad! James Potter actually trying to make his hair look neat! It's the apocalypse! Run, run for your lives!" Sirius then began running around the room in circles still screaming, "Run, run for your lives!" "Sirius, calm down!" James shouted, "I just wanted to look nice for…for the train ride. That's all." "You mean you wanted to look nice for a certain someone…not to mention any names, but their name starts with a 'Lily' and ends with an 'Evans'," Sirius said slyly. After a few more minutes of flattening efforts, with his hair standing as rebellious as ever, James gave up. "Well, what's the use? She'll never like me anyway," James moaned. "You never know, mate, maybe this year she'll change her mind," Sirius replied, trying to cheer his friend up. "Boys! Time to go! You're going to be late!" Mr. Potter yelled up the stairs at the boys' bedroom. "Coming!" they shouted in unison.

Later, on the Train

James and Sirius made their way through the train trying to find an empty compartment and 'accidentally' walking into a compartment of second-year girls just to hear them squeal and whisper to each other once they left. "Still as gorgeous as ever," Sirius said smugly. They had been doing this since second year, so they could tell if the girls were as in love with them this year as they had been last year. Toward the end of the train they found an empty compartment and sat down to wait for the other half of the Marauders, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. Bored, James let his thoughts wander…back to first year… back to the night he met Sirius.

James had somehow managed to find the only compartment with no one in it, and sat alone for the whole journey to Hogwarts, nervous and lonely. He had been lined up with the other first-years and sorted into Gryffindor right away. He had been so hungry that he had eaten without speaking to any of his new house-mates. Only when he was in his dormitory, did he realize that he had not made a single friend. This depressed him a bit until he realized that everyone in his dormitory was asleep. He decided to sneak out and explore the castle a little bit. It occurred to him that there might be people patrolling the corridors, but if he was caught, he reasoned, he could always pretend to be sleep-walking. It had worked in the past. At his own house he was infamous for his 'sleep walking'. So he got out of bed with the intention of sneaking out of his dormitory, crept quickly and silently towards to doorway. About halfway there, he started going faster and faster, until he was running. "Almost there …" He thought, "Nearly there…" WHAM! He ran smack into something or… someone. "Ahhhhhh!" The other person screamed like a girl. James yelled too, but not like a girl. Or so he told himself. "Shhh, shhh," he whispered frantically, "Don't wake up the whole house." "Who are you?" The other person whispered back. James was surprised to hear that the voice was a boy. After that scream he had expected a girl. "Shhh…Let's go into the common room, so we don't wake everyone up," James suggested. They had quickly and quietly snuck into the common room and sat down in two of the most comfortable armchairs James had ever sat in. "So, what's your name?" the other boy asked. He had long black hair and was, James supposed, rather good-looking. "Potter, James Potter." "Umm… ok then, I'm Sirius Black," the black-haired boy replied. James guessed that Sirius had never seen the muggle movie 'James Bond'. That would explain the 'umm…ok' before Sirius had introduced himself. "Wait. Did you just say 'Black'? As in 'The Noble and Most Ancient Housed of Black'?" James asked. He had heard the most awful stories about this family and been warned to avoid them, "Why aren't you in Slytherin? Hasn't your family been in that house since, like, from the beginning of time?" James asked curiously. Yes," Sirius replied reluctantly, "I'm in Gryffindor because the sorting hat put me there." "But won't your family be furious?" James questioned, leaning forward interestedly. "Yeah. I'll probably get a Howler or something tomorrow." Sirius said indifferently, "But I don't really care. I hate my family. They're cruel and, if you ask me, more than a little evil." The rest of the night had been spent talking about Sirius's family problems, quidditch, and they found that they had many things in common. Before the night was through, they had become best friends. James knew his life would never be the same again.

"Oi! Hello! James? Prongsie-boy? Oh no! Lily's hair is on fire! Somebody save her!" Sirius shouted loudly bringing James's mind back to the present. "Huh?" James said stupidly. "Oh nothing, I just thought I would tell you that Moony and Wormtail are here, and that the train's been traveling for almost thirty minutes." Sirius said grinning. "No, what did you call me?" James inquired dangerously. "Oh, nothing. Nothing at all," Sirius replied innocently. "Did a certain canine just call me 'Prongsie-boy'? Isn't calling me that name against the Marauder Code of Conduct?" James continued. "Umm…maybe?" Sirius guessed. "Yes it is! Isn't it, Remus?" James called to the official record keeper of the Marauders, who then pulled out a small and battered book, from his pocket and read, "'Chapter Three, Section Six: Rule Number Twenty-nine : Never call James H. Potter "Prongsie-boy, or Jamesie-boy, or any variant of the above. This includes Prongsie-lad and Jamesie-man"'. Right after Rule Number Twenty-eight : 'Never refer to the time of the full moon as "that time of the month," or any variant of the above.'" "I told you so!" James shouted triumphantly, "And Moony, what happens to people who break the Marauder Code of Conduct?" Remus once again pulled out the book and read, "'Chapter Nine, Section eighteen: Punishment of those who break any of the above rules: The offended one may pick from the choices below: 1. Locked out of dormitory for three days. 2. The tickle torture. 3. Unknown prank pulled upon the offender. 4. Offender must pay for all food for the offended. 5. Offender must become slave for the offended for two days.'" "Personally, Prongs, I'd go for the slave punishment. We all know how good Padfoot looks serving you drinks in a tutu and high heels." Remus snickered. "No, Moony, remember how he kept tripping and spilled those drinks all over Lily and her friends?" Peter said, "And then how she yelled at us and jinxed us? Getting those tentacles off of my face was not fun." "Oh yeah, I'd forgotten all about that time," Remus said, "Definitely chose something else." "Hmmm…How can I choose? Well, hmm…I'm not particularly hungry, so not the food one…not the prank one either, I can't think of any that I would waste on Sirius…" James philosophized. "Please don't hurt me James, "Sirius whimpered," Just think of all the good times we've had together, all the pranks, all the times you've done something to me and I let you off easy. Please?" Sirius was now making his infamous sad puppy face. "Awwwww…"Peter said, giving in immediately, "Look how sad he looks. Awww." Remus, far wiser in the ways of Sirius's puppy faces, had immediately flung his hands over his eyes. Now though, he snuck a peek at Sirius's face from in between his fingers. At once, he was awwwing over Sirius too, "Awww look at the cutsey, little puppy, isn't he the cutest?" Remus gushed. James had covered his eyes too, and he was not about to look. He was also somewhat frightened by Remus's gushing over Sirius. "Umm…I think the Tickle Punishment is perfect for this crime." James said after a few moments of deliberation. Sirius's puppy dog face disappeared instantly, before he began screaming. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT THE TICKLE TREATMENT! ANYTHING BUT THAT! SOEMBODY SAVE ME! HELP, HELP! I WANT MY MOMMY! Wait, no I don't! KEEP MOMMY AWAY FROM ME! HELP ME, HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Sirius screamed as his friend dragged him off of his seat onto the floor, where they preceded to tickle him until he passed out due to lack of oxygen from laughing and/or screaming.


	3. Of Changing in Peter's Presence

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Pretty please?

Chapter 3

Of Changing in Peter's Presence & Civil Conversations

When Sirius regained consciousness, he saw that the others had already changed into their robes. "Why didn't you wake me up?" He moaned, "Now I have to change by myself, with all of you staring at me." Even so, he pulled off his T-shirt, and began changing "What? We never look at you when you change!" Remus said indignantly. "Actually, Moony, my dear nerdy friend, Peter sometimes does stare at Sirius when he changes," James said indicating Peter, who, unnoticed by Sirius, was staring fixedly at Sirius as he changed, totally fascinated by the sight of Sirius's shirtless back. "Ummm…that's a little creepy," Remus said. "Definitely," James agreed. They both resolved to keep an eye on Peter the next time they were changing in his presence.

Finally they arrived at Hogwarts. James managed to get himself and his friends all into the same carriage. When they were about to close the door someone came and asked to join them without looking to see who they were. A very redheaded someone. "_Oh my gosh! Lily Evans just asked if she could sit with us! Has she finally come around?"_ James's thoughts echoed inside his head. "Of course you can, Evans, since we all know ho much you like us," Sirius said sarcastically. Lily's beautiful head jerked up, looking at them, at last. "I didn't know who was I here," she said icily, "I think all the others are full, but I'll go look for another one." She was about to climb out, when the door slid shut, trapping her in the carriage with them.

"_Oh, no!"_ Lily thought, "_I am trapped in a carriage with the four most immature, conceited, and irritating boys in the entire school. This could be bad_." She resolved just to keep quiet. She would not yell at them in the close confines of the carriage. _The echoes would be terrible._ They talked for a while about something they called 'the Code of Conduct' and whether more punishments should be added and she supposed that even the worst of boys must have some sort of rules to follow. "So, Evans, "James said attempting to be nonchalant, "How was your summer?" "Fine," Lily answered curtly. "What did you do?" James attempted to coax more information out of her. "I went to France," She was still determined to avoid talking to them as much as possible. "What did you do there?" James asked cautiously, not knowing what would set her off. "I saw the Eiffel Tower and visited some relatives," she answered, not quite as rudely. Against her better judgment, she was drawn into the conversation. She was surprised by his politeness throughout the conversation. Only when the carriage stopped did she realized that she had actually held a civil conversation with James Potter. They got out of the carriage together still talking about her trip to France. As they approached the big doors, she said teasingly, "Wow, Potter, I didn't know that you could say one sentence without bragging about your 'amazing quidditch abilities.'" A hurt look crossed his face, but quickly it was gone, "I didn't know that you could talk to me without screaming at me," James retorted. Soon they were engaged in a all-out shouting match. Finally Lily turned on her heel and stormed into the Great Hall, where the sorting had begun during their argument.

James slunk down to where his fellow marauders were sitting, and sank into his seat without a word. "So, Prongs how did it go?" Sirius prompted. James put his head down on the table silently. "Not good, huh?" Remus asked sympathetically, "You seemed to be getting along quite well when we left you." "She said I couldn't say one sentence without bragging," James mumbled into the tablecloth. "Oooh, not that again," Sirius said. James finished the rest of the meal in sulky silence.


	4. Of Stuffed Things and Bunchy Panties

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Pretty please?

Chapter 4

Of Stuffed Things & Bunchy Panties

The next day, when James woke up, he rolled over to look at his clock and realized that it was already past time for breakfast. They had missed breakfast, and were about to be late for their first class- Transfiguration with Professor McGonagall! "Sirius, Remus, Peter, wake up! C'mon you guys, get up!" James shouted, running to each bed spraying them with water from his wand. "Wha'?" Remus muttered sitting up quickly. Peter, waking to find James standing over him, screamed like a girl and pulled the covers up around himself. Sirius just rolled over, mumbling, "Stuffed things…I love stuffed things." James explained the situation to Remus and Peter who immediately started dressing. James began to work on waking his best friend up. Finally he resorted to the good old 'dump a load of water in his ear and get out of the way' maneuver. Sure enough, Sirius woke up, sputtering that he was awake and that James could stop spraying him. They had to face the same situation as on the train with Sirius complaining that they stared at him when he changed, and Remus denying that he had ever done such a thing. Then, when Sirius actually did get dressed, Peter stared avidly, and Remus and James discussed the strangeness of their friend's behavior. (Peter's, not Sirius's)

They sprinted into Transfiguration just as Professor McGonagall was calling role. "Oh there you are Mr. Black, Mr. Potter, Mr. Lupin, Mr. Pettigrew. I expect that you'll be more punctual to my next class, or face a detention." Professor McGonagall said sternly. "Yes ma'am," Remus and Peter said. "Yes, Minnie," James and Sirius said cheerily. Professor McGonagall glared at them severely, "Detention, Mr. Potter and Mr. Black. Tonight in my office. You will be writing a five hundred word essay on properly addressing your teachers. Now take your seats" "Yes ma'am," James and Sirius responded as they walked to their seats. "Nothing like a detention in the first five minutes of class to keep your teachers on their toes," James said brightly as he sat down.

The rest of the class was mostly review, so the Marauders were bored. Therefore James decided it was time to resurrect the old tradition of passing notes.

_Mr. Prongs would like to ask what Mr. Padfoot is doing._

**Mr. Padfoot replies that he is doing nothing and inquires why Mr. Prongs would like to know.**

_Mr. Wormtail says, "huh?"_

_Mr. Prongs would like to say that he is rather bored and would like to know what kind of prank they are going to pull next. Mr. Prongs would also like to congratulate Mr. Padfoot on his use of an eight letter word. Mr. Prongs would like to advise Mr. Padfoot to ignore Mr. Wormtail and hope that he goes away._

**Mr. Padfoot says that he does not know and says that Mr. Moony usually plans those kinds of things. Mr. Padfoot would also like to say thank you to Mr. Prongs for congratulating him on his use of an eight letter word and say that he thought it was rather brilliant himself. Mr. Padfoot agrees with Mr. Prongs on the issue of Mr. Wormtail.**

**Messrs. Padfoot and Prongs would like to inquire as to what Mr. Moony is doing.**

_Mr. Moony says that he is attempting to take notes without irksome people like Messrs. Padfoot and Prongs bothering him with their idiotic note-passing. Mr. Moony also says that Messrs. Padfoot and Prongs should be doing the same. In addition, Mr. Moony would like to question why Messrs. Prongs and Padfoot are asking him what he is doing, for Mr. Moony thought it was quite obvious._

**Messrs. Padfoot and Prongs would like to scoff at the very idea of their taking notes and would like to inquire what variety of prank they are planning on pulling next.**

Mr. Wormtail asks what is going on.

_Mr. Moony says that he does not know what type of prank they are playing next and wishes to query about what kind of prank they wish to pull. Mr. Moony also requests that Messrs. Padfoot and Prongs find some other word to use besides 'inquire' because they have used it in almost every sentence, and Mr. Moony is mildly irritated with it. Mr. Moony suggests that they stop before he becomes irate._

Mr. Wormtail would like to ask what 'inquire' means.

**Messrs. Padfoot and Prongs are feeling rather inquisitive and would like to inquire about the reason that the word 'inquire' causes such rage in Mr. Moony and would also like to inquire again about what it is that has Mr. Moony's panties in a bunch.**

_Mr. Moony would like, with utmost dignity, to point out he does not wear panties and that if he did, he would not have them in a bunch. Mr. Moony would also like to ask what made Messrs. Padfoot and Prongs so quick to assume that he was wearing panties and had them in a bunch, and wishes to question whether they are wearing bunchy panties themselves._

Mr. Prongs would like to say that he is staring the other way and whistling innocently.

**Mr. Padfoot wishes to point out that Professor McGonagall wears panties.**

Unfortunately for Sirius, Professor McGonagall saw them and took up the note. "Two more days of detention, Mr. Black," she said.


End file.
